Movie Review: Ringmaster

Year: 1998
Director: Neil Abramson
Writer: Jon Bernstein
Stars: Jerry Springer
Jaime Pressly
Molly Hagan

I've been meaning to watch this film for years because i like the two female leads. Really i have. Just not enough to... you know... actually RENT it or add it to my Netflix queue or anything. I kept thinking "I like those two... i'd like to see that one of these days." So a couple weeks ago it was on one of Showtime's innumerable channels, so i dropped it on the DVR and finally watched it a couple of days ago. Why the delay? I hate the Jerry Springer show, as well as his new show on GSN, "Baggage". I mean, i don't dislike Springer himself, he strikes me as a man of some intellect and talent. One of those talents just seems to be making crappy TV shows. At my old job they would watch his show in our breakroom and... i swear that this is true... every time that i heard that "JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!" it would give me a stomach ache. I'm not kidding. In the interest of full disclosure, i have watched two almost full episodes of the show. One because i was channel flipping and i saw that he had as his guests the Shappell twins, two of my heroines. These two women have lived their entire lives (i'm not even kidding here) joined at the forehead. They've even managed to make a bit of an acting career for themselves. It's amazing. The other time it was the whole freakshow element of the thing. I don't remember how i started this one, but there was the gorgeous girl on there breaking up with her schnook of a boyfriend. I couldn't help but think "how'd this guy let himself get into this?" Then they brought they guy out that she was sleeping with, and, of course, the two guys fought. After the commercial, they had everyone calmed down. Then she dumped the SECOND guy on national TV and they brought out the girl that she was now sleeping with. The girls kissed. What did they guys do? They couldn't beat up a girl. So they fought again. That's my shameful confession of the day. You don't get another one.

Oh, the movie? It was pretty good, actually. Molly and Jaime were both as sexy as all get-out and their two "guys" seemed adequately like whipped dogs through the whole film. And Jerry was... Jerry. If you don't know, the movie is like a behind-the-scenes story of the Springer show. Molly and Jaime are mother and daughter who were going to be on an episode called "I slept with my step-daddy". That about sums it up.

The good: This actually seems like a pretty honest look at the Springer show. I mean, at one point, a reporter is interviewing Springer when a tussle breaks out in the hallway between two of the guests. After Jerry helps to break it up and scolds them, he returns to the interviewer, who asks "Are they okay?" And Jerry says "Of course they're not... they're on my show."

The bad: With the exception of Jerry, the male characters in this movie are like cardboard cut-outs. They're more male stereotypes than men. You have the unemployed, hard-drinking horny redneck. You have the dumb, whipped young redneck. You have the dog of a black guy who will sleep with anything female that moves, but is especially drawn to white girls. There are also some major editing and continuity problems with the film. Like at one point the young, dumb redneck locked his key card in the hotel room that he shared with his girlfriend, Jaime. So he goes out to see the town. He returns later and somehow opens his door to find Jaime having sex with the dog of a black guy. Molly Hagan gets her t-shirt signed by Jerry, who signs it "love, Jerry". In the next scene, the writing on the T looks completely different and it says "thanks, Jerry".

The ugly: The Jerry Springer Show. This show generally shows no respect for humanity at all. Like those "Which of these five guys that i slept with over the course of a week is my baby's daddy?" episodes. I mean, you know that this crap is going to be in syndication for ever. What happens when that kid's twelve and his friends recognize his mom on a rerun? It's awful.

Peace.

Randal